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HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

What a Disappointment!

If you're trying to kill yourself by jumping out in front of a vehicle, a Wendy's drive-thru is a bad location choice.  All you stand to gain is a slight leg bruise and some confused looks.  The cars just aren’t moving fast enough.

Get a Job Cat!

*This is NOT OK!

Why is “The Cat’s Pajamas” good?  That’s the weirdest saying I’ve ever heard of.  First of all, if I saw a cat wearing pajamas I’d kick it.  Cats are lazy enough as it is, not to mention sneaky as shit.  Why are we encouraging cats to be even less active by saying that their pajamas are synonymous with “good”.  I’m against it.  Not only that, but I won’t stand for it.  I’m taking a hard stand against this stupid saying.  Get a job cat!  Stop being a leach on society and expecting us to continue to praise you and your bedtime clothing! 

Monday, May 16, 2011

That's Gonna Cost You!

It’s expensive to get a bicep tattoo.  Not because tattoos are expensive, because wife beaters are expensive.  

Mmm, Let's Get These Darling!

If you’d like to create a humorous (and by humorous, I mean awkward) situation in a grocery store, identify someone in the store of the opposite sex who is close to your age.  Once you’ve found your target, wait until they’ve stopped in an aisle and are browsing a particular food item.  Then, when the time is right (you’ll know), walk up next to them, pick up a product off the shelf, turn to them and say, “These look good honey, and they’re low fat!” and put it in their cart.”