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HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!







Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Saturday, October 6, 2012

You Know You Want To...Don't Deny It

*Rumor has it the title of his album "Believe" was 
actually in reference to this very dream (below)

If I was Justin Bieber, once a year I'd have all of my money converted into gold coins and fill a room in my house with them.  The room would have a ladder going up the wall to a diving board about ten feet high.  Then I'd climb up the ladder and dive into my gold coin fortune like Scrooge McDuck.  The only downfall of this plan would be that, as it would turn out, since I was a human being and not a rich cartoon duck, I'd probably end up breaking my neck and have to cancel my upcoming tours, hence reducing the amount of money I had.  But I think the inconvenience of the aforementioned hospitalization would be worth the pleasure of the fairy tale experience.

By the way, if you don't know who Scrooge McDuck is, I'm sorry for your deprived childhood.

I Just Don't Get It

*The name is ironic.  Because it makes me feel like an idiot! 

I think it's funny when people are like, "I have no idea how smart phones work, it's crazy!"  Really?  It's taken you this long to be amazed?  Like up until this point you've been totally on board with how all the "behind the scenes" stuff worked?  Smart phones?  I don't have any idea how phone-phones work.  I'm talking about the ones that are connected to the wall that no one owns anymore! It's old technology, but if you can explain it to me, I'll give you my stuff.  All of it!  

Friday, October 5, 2012

Wait...Am I Weird?!



Have you ever met someone and after meeting them thought, "Man, that guy was weird!" ? Then every time you see that person, you avoid them like the plague because they make you feel so uncomfortable.  You and your friends may even make funny of that person behind their back.  Well chew on this little nugget of possibility.  Do you think people who are weird know that they're weird.  Or more likely, do you think that they're under the impression that they're normal just like everyone else?  If this is in fact the case, ponder for me this possibility.  MAYBE YOU'RE WEIRD AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!!!!  Sure, there's a possibility that you're not and maybe you're as about as normal as they come.  But there's a very good chance that you're one of those very odd-balls that you avoid and you don't even know it.  So keep that in mind next time you're passing judgement on the resident weirdo in your office or on your street corner, because there's a very good chance that you are that resident weirdo to someone else.  Or not.  Whatever.  But think about it.  Enjoy feeling self-conscious for the next week or so while you ponder this possibility and mentally monitor everything you say and do.  Don't worry, the self-consciousness will eventually wear off and you'll go back to your normal life.  In the meantime, mull it over...you weirdo!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Sorry I'm Late, I Was Shaving...



I wonder if employees at Gillette and Schick are contractually forbidden from having facial hair?