Search This Blog

HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Friday, November 22, 2013

Is That Even Possible?

My goldfish died and the coroner's autopsy said the cause was dehydration.  I'm seeking a second opinion. 

Monday, November 18, 2013

What is this half of?

Half-and-Half has never really been clear about what it's half and half of.

Friday, November 8, 2013

I'm Gonna Watch a Little TV

"I'm Gonna Watch a Little TV"

Sometimes we use "size" terms to describe what we mean in "time" units.  To the literal observer, this can be confusing.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Breaking the Law. What a Rush!

The man is always trying to keep us down...I'm just trying to live.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Butter Flies

*Not quite as majestic as the traditional version.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Market's Just Not There

I  bet it's tough to be a corduroy pants salesman in Ecuador. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Your Doors are too SLOW!!!

When I'm going into a store, I like to run as fast as I can at the automatic doors.  Then I go and complain to the manager.

It's Not Really ALL Good...

Sometimes people use generic terms that they don't really mean without really thinking.  Like, "It's all good".  Is it really ALL good?  This is usually used as a reply to someone who is giving you bad news so you don't feel bad.

Friend:  "Hey man, I accidentally set your car on fire."  
You :  "It's all good"  
Friend:  "Really?"
You:  "No."

Monday, May 6, 2013

Identity Complex

A half-bathroom doesn't contain a bath and is therefore inappropriately named. It should be called a sink-toilet room.

Thanks for the Gas!

Depending on the gift, this "Thank You" could be either sincere or extremely sarcastic...

Saturday, May 4, 2013


I was running down the sidewalk the other day and I ran into a woman who was standing on the sidewalk.We both fell to the ground and when we got up, we looked at each other, both ready to blame the other.  Then we thought about the purpose of the premises and realized we were both wrong...

Friday, May 3, 2013

A Bunch of Boxes

When you really stop and think about it, life is really just a bunch of boxes...

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Nothing to Joke About

You think high-fiving is fun?  It's not.  It's dangerous!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Employees Only

I was walking around town the other day and had a sudden, extreme urge to use the bathroom.  I went into a convenience store and asked to use the bathroom and was told it was for employees only, so I asked for an application.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Wait...What's a Piece of Cake?

If you're a college professor out at a restaurant, and you're having dessert, and you are approached by one of your students who ask you, "Excuse me professor, is the exam tomorrow difficult?" and before you can reply, she also points at your plate and asks, "Oh, that looks good, what is that you're eating?" you have the potential to answer both questions with one response.