You know who I don't trust. Cats. Which makes me not trust cat people. It's not that I don't want to trust cat people, I do. I just can't . Getting back to the origin, cats are sneaky. They spend all day sneaking around, looking for something, but no one is quite sure what. I always just assume they're looking for a mouse or a ball of string, but the more I observe cats I start to think that they're probably looking to steal my wallet. I don't mean to stereotype, but every time something goes missing and a cat's around, that feline is my number one suspect. My basic mentality as far as cats are concerned are that they're innocent until proven sneaky. And since all cats are easily proven sneaky, they're all fucking guilty of something!
The silver lining of my take on cats is that you can throw them. That's their only saving grace. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't throw a cat off a building or into a wall or anything. But most living things in the world you can't throw without some sort of negative outcome. Cats on the other hand are acceptable to throw granted it's not off a cliff or into a pool of piranhas. I think the general rule of throwing cats is that you can throw a cat into an open area up to 50 feet (depending on arm strength) and off anything up to 10 feet high. We'll just go ahead and set that as the standard until something bad happens. So I guess, disregarding their sneakiness, cats aren't all that bad. They do have a pretty unique quality characteristic. Cats. The animal you can throw!
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