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HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Cats Can't be Trusted

You know who I don't trust.  Cats.  Which makes me not trust cat people.  It's not that I don't want to trust cat people, I do.  I just can't .  Getting back to the origin, cats are sneaky.  They spend all day sneaking around, looking for something, but no one is quite sure what.  I always just assume they're looking for a mouse or a ball of string, but the more I observe cats I start to think that they're probably looking to steal my wallet.  I don't mean to stereotype, but every time something goes missing and a cat's around, that feline is my number one suspect.  My basic mentality as far as cats are concerned are that they're innocent until proven sneaky.  And since all cats are easily proven sneaky, they're all fucking guilty of something! 

The silver lining of my take on cats is that you can throw them.  That's their only saving grace.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't throw a cat off a building or into a wall or anything.  But most living things in the world you can't throw without some sort of negative outcome.  Cats on the other hand are acceptable to throw granted it's not off a cliff or into a pool of piranhas.  I think the general rule of throwing cats is that you can throw a cat into an open area up to 50 feet (depending on arm strength) and off anything up to 10 feet high.  We'll just go ahead and set that as the standard until something bad happens.  So I guess, disregarding their sneakiness, cats aren't all that bad.  They do have a pretty unique quality characteristic.  Cats.  The animal you can throw!

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