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HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

THAT'S a DOLLAR?!?!?!?!?!

The dollar store is a funny place.  Not funny, "Ha Ha", more funny like, "what the hell am I doing in here?"  The dollar store is definitely a place where you can make some wise purchases and save some cash.  There are a handful of items in the store that are super bargains like paper towels and cleaning products, but there are definitely some others, we'll call them "the majority", that you want to steer clear of; like say, pregnancy tests.  That's right.  The dollar store, at least the dollar store I know has...pregnancy tests.  My question here is, why in the world would you ever even fathom buying a pregnancy test, a test which the outcome holds so much weight on the rest of your life, on an item which costs one dollar?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not rich.  But if I was a lady, and some dude potentially knocked me up, I think I'd check my couch cushions for a few extra nickles to buy a legit pregnancy test.  That's all I'm saying, because what happens nine months after that one hundred cent test gives you a negative sign and all of a sudden you're holding an infant and you're like, "what?!"

Here's another little interesting phenomenon about the dollar store.  When you're in the dollar store, no matter how often you patronize said business, if and when you run in to someone you know, you always act like it's the first time you've been in the store.  You at least act like you only go there as a last resort.  The winner in a scenario when two people who know each other as acquaintances bump in to one another in a discount store is the person who successfully convinces the other that they frequent the store less frequently.  But if there is one thing you'll take from this lecture, let me shed a light on you.  When two people run into one another in a dollar store, and both buy cans of pork 'n beans, go home and consume them, no one wins.  Unless of course you equate victory with projectile diarrhea.  Enough said.

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