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HeadGarbage's Mission Statement

This site exists for one sole reason. Some may say it's a waste of time and/or a poor attempt at stupid humor. That's fine. But way too many people are so miserable and I refuse to be one of them. These are things that I think about and I think are funny. These are things that make me laugh. I hope some of it makes you laugh too. Life is way too short to walk around being pissed off all the time. If you can’t laugh at some of the stupid and ridiculous stuff that exists in this world, what’s the point?! I hope the content of this site, which stems from the ridiculousness of the world we're in, can help in some small way to help take the edge off an otherwise stressful life. As a wise man once said,"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!" I think that was Gandhi? Live, LAUGH, Love...And enjoy your daily dose of HeadGarbage. Come back often and tell your friends so that HG can grow big and strong!

Monday, August 9, 2010


I love intentionally confusing people.  I don't really know why.  I guess it's because the reaction is usually pretty priceless. For the most part a person goes through their whole day with a relative sense of normalcy. So when something odd happens, it often shakes up their day in a way that makes it somewhat memorable. This is my public service to the general population. Feel free to use this.

This scenario works best with someone you don’t know at a location where you’re not committed to staying for an extended period of time. Try a public bus stop for example. A lot of people read newspapers at bus stops, not because they’re interested in the news, but because they absolutely despise interaction with other human beings, and said human beings are somewhat reluctant to disturb a stranger who is busy. But not you! Go up to this person reading their newspaper and ask them what the article they are reading is about. Unless this person is a fucking asshole, they should at least be courteous enough to give you a one sentence synopsis. After this information is exchanged, this is where you confuse them with your puzzling response (to follow).

This response also works in an office environment, most successfully at a general gathering venue like the clichéd water cooler, or some other location where people tend to congregate for short periods of time and there is plenty of room for escape without explanation (this works in any office environment but is most effective in a large office setting where you don’t know everyone on a personal level). In this scenario, you walk into a conversation already in progress. As most conversations in office water cooler environments are usually about current events, you should be set up nicely. Politely interrupt and ask the alpha of the group what topic they are discussing. When you’re informed, this is where you say the sure to be confusing line, and walk away. In both of these different scenarios, the line is certain to perplex the targets. It might not register right away, but eventually they will more than likely be scratching their heads. This final line of your conversation, before inexplicably turning and calmly walking away is… “Oh yeah, I saw that on the radio the other day”.

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