That's Appropriate Attire...Sort Of.

*Acceptable on a sliding scale based on location

How insane you look, when wearing certain articles of clothing, really all comes down to location. If you’re riding a bike and wearing a bike helmet and spandex, you’re good to go. I can’t promise that you won’t get made fun of for wearing spandex, but you’re at least in the appropriate environment for the outfit. The thing is that once you take that bike out of the equation, you look nuts.


“Hey look at that guy walking around with spandex and a bike helmet on. Where’s his bike? What a freak!”

But let us explore further. Let us say that that individual is now fully clad in spandex, helmet perched carefully upon his head and he is back on his bike…ok, seems normal. But put that person inside a grocery store!

“Whoa, whoa whoa? What the fuck are you doing inside a grocery store with your bike, a helmet and spandex on?”


“What the hell is that guy doing with his bike in grocery store? What a weirdo, why doesn’t he leave it outside!”

But here’s the catch, let’s say that scenario does develop, and our theoretical biker is now inside a grocery store with his bike outside and still in full spandex and a bike helmet. Some people may not realize he even owns a bike. Maybe he’s just a gentleman who likes to wear clothes that keep everything securely where it’s supposed to be. Maybe he’s recently lost a few pounds and is proud and wants to flaunt it? Who knows? But to the common observer, the fact that this guy is in a grocery store without a bike, wearing spandex is probably one of the odder things they’ve seen that day…and we still haven’t been able to explain the helmet…